I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
