My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
