Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
