That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
