I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
