what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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