Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
