He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
