We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The air was thick with penises
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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