She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
