Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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