I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
