is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
