My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
