I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
