I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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