Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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