you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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