There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
should my penis look like a turkey
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
