Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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