i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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