You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
