yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
