suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
