I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
