I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
