walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
