We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
