that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
