when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
