I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
