thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
