I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
