they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
