took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
