my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
