After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
