new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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