Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
