Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
