Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
