I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
do herpes really smell.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
