I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
