remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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