Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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