I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
