how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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