mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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