Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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