No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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