So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The power of my boobs compel you
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
