Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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