he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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